remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
