i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
