I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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