you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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