is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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