Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
In America we eat man semen.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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