ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
