Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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