Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
