I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
