Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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