Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
