so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
