Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
