I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
