Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize