I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
