dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
