I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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