Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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