I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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