My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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