Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Its about making memories worth repressing
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Terrible idea I love it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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