i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
