How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I love you. Go after that dick
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
