We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
How does one acquire holy water?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize