Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Shame - the story of my life.
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