This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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