he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
