Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize