I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
