woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
