That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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