I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
