I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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