I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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