I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
His hands were made for my vagina.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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