May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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