My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Someone came in the potted fern
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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