my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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