Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
