I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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