Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
ok first of all what the fuck
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
