when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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