Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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