What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Mom said you looked used
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
