So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
