8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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