Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
