One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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