Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
