i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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