Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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