Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize