Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
