That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
