If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My first STD was from a foam party
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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