Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is it penis luge time yet?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
