I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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