i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
