Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
do nipples grow back?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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