It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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